I’m Fairly Sure My Best Friend is a Killer – PART ONE

Over the previous few months, my perspective on life has swiftly been elongated through the hanging out with my new best friend (drug addict, alcoholic, killer?) that I met at my previous workplace as a chef in a bar in my home country, Scotland. I’m going to call him Jimmy in order to hide his mischievous identity. Jimmy is a real character, and an honest man that never fails to amuse me no matter what levels of alcohol or cocaine run through his polluted veins.

I can honestly say that Jimmy is the sort of guy that could have made it very far in life, but unfortunately was brought up in the wrong neighbourhood with the wrong people. He’s a tall, reasonably scrawny nineteen year old man with gaping brown eyes, a few grey hairs and a nose that points to his ears. His appearance only makes him even more intriguing, however.

People alienated by Jimmy often associate his traits with the bad habits of other people who make the same bad choices as him – assuming that’s he’s a liar, a thief, and a selfish snake. However, I can proclaim straight up that although Jimmy has committed to making numerous poor choices in his life, it’s his honesty and selflessness combined with the fact that he lives in a completely different world to me, that attracts my friendship to him the most.

When I first met Jimmy, who was a kitchen porter at the place I used to work at, or as he puts it, a ‘dish monkey’, which still makes me giggle to this day, I literally thought nothing of him. I was just another person that had meandered into his life by chance and alienated him as just a normal, monotonous teenager that hadn’t made it very far in life. However, the more fate allowed me to converse with him, the more I began to realise just how extravagant Jimmy’s life really was.

To elaborate on Jimmy’s ‘alternative’ childhood upbringing, let’s just say that Jimmy has been an irresponsible adult since before his prepubescent years. I can gather from his stories that he has been abusing drugs and ruthlessly fighting other beings his age since the age of nine years old. I’ve also picked up a few shocking stories of how he ‘pleasured’ some girls around the back of the school shed over one lunchtime at the age of just nine years old. It became clear to me that Jimmy had been exposed to adulthood from a very young age. A final compelling tale I’m willing to share is of his ears, or lack of, dare I put it. He has a bite mark shaped gap at the top of his right ear reminiscent of his friends setting him up in a ruse that allowed older men to ambush and batter him when he was only fifteen. Upon hearing about Jimmy’s ruthless younger years, I naturally no longer continued to think that Jimmy was just an average, boring teenager.

Before a couple of months back, I’d never taken any drugs before, but since smoking my first cigarette a few months back, I was keen to smoke the good ole marijuana, which I don’t regret eventually doing, may I just add. After being left alone with Jimmy in the kitchen to clean up one night, we began to talk about the beautiful drug and sparks began to fly (not marijuana sparks, our banter!). Jimmy spoke poetry about the drug which certainly drove my desire to smoke it even further. We met up later that night to smoke my first ever marijuana joint.

Three months passed and a lot was revealed about Jimmy. We’d been meeting up a strong few times a week for a ‘magic smoke’ and he would bewilder me with his mind-blowing stories regarding his childhood and other tales of drugs and alcohol that had devoured his life to date. Jimmy was an intelligent young man with many ideas.  By this point I thought I knew the ins and outs of Jimmy, that he was a very bright boy who had been let down by his rough backgrounds.

Contrary to my beliefs of Jimmy’s harmlessness, things got interesting last Friday when he got paid and went on an unrelenting rampage of drugs, alcohol and god knows what else. It had been quite obvious to me that although Jimmy was a genuinely charming and relaxed teenager while not on drugs or alcohol, he definitely had some degree of mental issues, which I don’t condemn given the rigid childhood he somehow managed to surpass as a boy. Although not diagnosed, Jimmy is convinced that Schizophrenia is one of the mental issues he has to deal with on a daily basis. I can certainly concur to his claims as more than occasionally there will be times when he argues with himself outside of his own head about insignificant things such as the cold or the fact that a small splatter of mud had made it’s way onto his trainer. Another evident trait of Jimmy is of possessing a very short fuse, in partnership with an irrational state of thinking.

It was Friday the 14th of November 2014 and Jimmy had just been paid which meant two things; alcohol and drugs. As far as I’m concerned, although I’m still not fully sure what trouble he got up to from the hours of twelve in the afternoon seven in the evening that day, I believe he went off to Edinburgh to meet one of his good friends for the purpose of intoxicating himself with lines of cocaine and an overload of alcohol. I received a few ‘hye . meet et pub 5 min’ sort of texts before meeting him at my local pub (which I’m now banned from because of him) for a few drinks. I had just finished work and was completely sober. It was at the point that the reckless and evil side of Jimmy slowly began to unveil itself.


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